WARNING: "Jay and Silent Bob" was Rated R by the MPAA for "nonstop crude and sexual humor, pervasive strong language, and drug content." Although some care has been taken, even this webpage may contain objectionable content. This truly is a crude, vulgar movie, and this page should in no way be taken as a recommendation to see the film or as an evaluation of its artistic or ethical merits (if any).
"Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" is a crude, vulgarity-laced comedy featuring two stoners who had been minor recurring characters in some of Kevin Smith's previous movies. Nearly six minutes of the movie take place in Utah, where the title characters stop en route to Hollywood from their home on the Wisconsin. The movie contains multiple references to Utah. Although there are no overt references to Latter-day Saints (or "Mormons") by name, a number of the lines of dialogue implicitly refer to the state's predominanty Latter-day Saint population by invoking the state's highly ethical, traditionally moral reputation.
While hitchhiking their way to Hollywood, Jay and Silent Bob hitch a ride with four twenty-something female jewel thieves. These four young women are: Justice (Shannon Elizabeth), Sissy (Eliza Dushku), Chrissy (Ali Larter) and Missy (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith). The quartet of jewel thieves take Jay and Silent Bob to Colorado, telling them that they are radical animal rights activists who intend to "liberate" animals from a research facility. They do indeed release dozens of animals from the facility, but this is only a cover for their real plan (which they do not tell Jay and Silent Bob about): They steal diamonds worth millions of dollars from a museum next to the place they release the animals from.
After the heist, the girls' van explodes, leaving Jay and Silent Bob thinking that the four beautiful jewel thieves are dead. To throw authorities off their track, the thieves send the media a video of Jay and Silent Bob (apparently made by them) along with a message with threats and demands relating to freeing simians from captivity. The name of the phony organization is "Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerate Tree dwellers," a name chosen for the express purpose of vulgarly creating an acronym that sounds like a female body part.
Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (played by Will Ferrell) is the primary law enforcement official who tries to catch Jay and Silent Bob after the jewel heist/animal "liberation." Willenholly is on a national television news show taking to the show's host (played by comedian Jon Stewart of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show"), discussing the crime and the radical animal rights organization that he has been led to believe is involved.
While being interviewed, Willenholly receives a phone call telling him that the two fugitives -- Jay and Silent Bob -- have been spotted in Utah. This leads to the movie's first reference to Utah, in which Will Ferrell's character looks into the camera, addresses the "citizens of Utah," and tells them that "stimulation" of this criminal animal rights group "is not recommended." The intended humor of this line is undermined by the fact that a law enforcement official would not actually use the word "stimulation" in speaking about how citizens might interact with a terrorist group or criminal organization. A law enforcement official might use words such as "confrontation" or "provocation." The word "stimulation" was used simply so that the sentence as a whole would indicate sexual act. The result is obvious and juvenile, much like the level of humor throughout the film. The juxtaposition of "Utah" with this sexual reference may be an attempt to derive additional humor by playing against the state's Mormon-based conservative sexual morality.
Later, in a scene that takes place in Utah, the dialogue once again plays against the state's conservatism. Jay and Silent Bob are in a diner in Southern Utah, in the Lake Powell area. Utah police officers in five police cars quickly drive up to and park in front of the diner. The Utah police officers are led by a sheriff played by actor Judd Nelson, who may be best known for his role as the rebellious teen "John Bender" in the movie "The Breakfast Club" (1985). Through a bullhorn, the sheriff demands that Jay and Silent Bob come out and surrende the orangutan. Willenholly arrives on the scene, and joins in the police effort.
In order to escape, Jay and Silent Bob dress the orangutan in a baseball cap and T-shirt from a young boy inside the diner. They then ask the police if they can leave, saying that the orangutan is their son. They hope that the police will be confused about who they are. Willenholly wonders aloud if Jay and Silent Bob are "one of those gay couples." Jay latches onto the idea, and proclaims: "Yeah, we're gay, and this is our adopted love child. We're not from around here. Don't make us go back to our liberal city home with tales of prejudice and bigotry from in the heart of Utah."
There are a couple more scenes in Utah. The Utah sheriff (Judd Nelson) actually has quite a few lines. Despite the fact that Nelson is playing a sheriff in predominantly Mormon southern Utah, there is nothing at all to indicate that this character is a Latter-day Saint. The sheriff uses a few harsh curse words in a way that an active Latter-day Saint would not. The Utah state flag can be seen in the police station where the sheriff's office is located, but there are no overt references to Latter-day Saints. The sheriff's use of vulgar language is unfortunate and inappropriate. On the plus side, the Utah sheriff and other police officers are portrayed as intelligent and capable, in contrast to Will Ferrell's character, who is also a law enforcement officer, but is something of a moron.
Worth noting, but completely unrelated to this film's Utah content is the fact that one of the stars of the movie is a Latter-day Saint: Eliza Dushku, who plays the gorgeous but tart-tongued international jewel thief "Sissy." Dushku (who still identified herself as a Mormon but was no longer an active churchgoer by the time this movie was made) has the 7th-billed role on the official movie poster. Dushku was born and raised in Massachusetts.
Below is the dialogue from this movie's Utah scenes, as it can be heard in the movie:
48 minutes, 31 seconds after the start of the film:
TV NEW SHOW HOST REG HARTNER (Jon Stewart): Is that your cell phone, sir?
[Willenholly turns puts his cell phone to his ear, apparently annoyed at being called during his TV interview.]
FEDERAL WILDLIFE MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): Plaschke. Give me a friggin' break. [His demeanor instantly changes, as he earnestly responds to what he hears on the phone.] I'm on my way. [Speaking to the new show host.] We've got 'em. They're in Utah. [Facing the camera.] Citizens of Utah, stimulation of the C.L.I.T. is not recommended.
["C.L.I.T." is an acronym introduced earlier in this scene. It stands for "Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerate Tree dwellers." In the context of the film, this is a phony animal rights group that the female jewel thieves made up. The thieves sent phony threats from the organization, along with video of Jay and Silent Bob, in order to throw authorities off their tracks. The four female jewel thieve stole millions of dollars in diamonds, from a museum in Colorado, but at the same time they let loose dozens of animals from a research facility next door. They then used the video and the message from the phony animal rights organization in order to implicate Jay and Silent Bob, and further distract authorities from investigating the jewel heist. The name of the phony simian-oriented animal rights organization is obviously a crude reference reference, which is used in throughout much of the rest of the movie in sophomoric double entendres intended to be humorous.]
[End of scene. 48 minutes, 43 seconds after the start of the film.]
[CUT TO: A motel in Southern California, where the four female jewel thieves who set Jay and Silent Bob up as patsies for their diamond heist are celebrating the success of their plan. A bedsheet hangs from the balcony, with words hand-painted on it in large letters: "Congrats to us on our 37th heist!!!" Justice expresses regret about tricking Jay and Silent Bob into being at the crime scene, resulting in there being federal manhunt for them. Justice is pining for Jay, who she has feelings for after their brief time together. Sissy (Dushku) chides Justice for her attitude.]
CUT TO: A diner in Southern Utah. Jay and Silent Bob are sitting down eating a meal. Next to Silent Bob sits the orangutan that they "liberated" (stole) from the research facility in Colorado. This scene, the first that takes place in Utah, begins 49 minutes, 42 seconds after the start of the film.
JAY (Jason Mewes): You know, Justice died trying to save this monkey, so maybe we should keep it around. That we can honor her memory.
SILENT BOB (Kevin Smith): [Nods in agreement.]
[The orangutan puts a spoonful of ice cream in Silent Bob's mouth.]
JAY: Now ain't you glad we came here to eat?
SILENT BOB (Kevin Smith): [Nods.]
JAY: And you were all piss-scared we'd get busted by the cops or something. You know what I say. [Singing or rapping] [Expletive] [Expletive], [expletive], [expletive] the police. Yo, yo, [expletive] the police. [Expletive], [expletive], [expletive] the police. Yo, [expletive] 'em.
UTAH SHERIFF ON MEGAPHONE (Judd Nelson): [Overheard in the diner.] This is the Utah State Police.
[CUT TO: Exterior outside the diner. The scene looks like the middle of a state park in Utah. It looks like the middle of a desert. There are large sandstone rock formations around the diner. There are five police cars parked in formation, many cops huddling behind the cars, or behind the car doors, and nothing else.]
UTAH SHERIFF (Judd Nelson): Boys, we know you're in there. Come on out with your hands in the air and surrender the orangutan.
[CUT TO: Interior of the diner.]
JAY: Think they're talking about us?
SILENT BOB (Kevin Smith): [Nods yes, with fear in his eyes.]
[CUT TO: Exterior outside the diner. Only a few cars can be seen parked next the diner, aside from the five police cars. The diner literally sits in the middle of a desert, perhaps a national park, next to a large rock formation.]
[A small car drives up, honking repeatedly. Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly parks the car next to the police cars. He gets out of his car and waves to the cop in charge.]
FEDERAL WILDLIFE MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): Sorry. Don't shoot. Hold your fire.
Willenholly walks to where the cop in charge is standing behind a police car. Willenholly draws his handgun and points it at the diner, as other police officers are doing.
UTAH SHERIFF: Who the hell are you?
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): Federal Wildlife Marshal. Is the monkey in there?
UTAH SHERIFF: The ape.
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): What?
UTAH SHERIFF: Orangutan's a member of the great ape family. It's not a monkey.
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): Look, who's the Federal Wildlife Marshall here? Me or you?
[The Utah sheriff does and says nothing. He knows that Willenholly is an idiot.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): That's what I thought. Can I use your--
[The Utah sheriff hands Willenholly the bullhorn.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Speaking through the bullhorn] Jay and Silent Bob.
[CUT TO: Front door of the diner, which has a large round window. Jay and Silent Bob pop up, looking through the door from the inside.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Through the bullhorn] Your C.L.I.T. doesn't stand a chance. Anyone not harboring a fugitive monkey in there should hit the deck. We are going to open fire.
[CUT TO: Interior of diner. Other patrons scream and chatter.]
JAY: [Pointing to Silent Bob] What the [expletive] are you waiting for? Get out there and give him the monkey.
SILENT BOB (Kevin Smith): [Points to the orangutan with a questioning look on his face. Then adamantly shakes his head no. Puts his arm around the orangutan's shoulder, to protect the animal from being taken.]
JAY: Look, man, [expletive] maybe it ain't so bad up at that lab. Maybe they experiment on 'em by making 'em [expletive] a bunch of different good-lookin' monkeys. We don't know.
ORANGUTAN: [Squeals and shakes its head no.]
JAY: [Pointing angrily at the orangutan.] You stay out of this, you weepy little chimp. [To Silent Bob] [Expletive], man, I'm no strategist. You're the guy who makes the blueprints. I don't have the [expletive] smarts of a little--
[Jay looks to his side, where he sees a young boy about 9 years old, being held close by his mother. Both boy and mother are very afraid. But Jay gets an idea.]
[CUT TO: Exterior, front door of diner. Jay and Silent Bob open the door cautiously. The orangutan is with them, wearing the baseball cap and the T-shirt that they took from the young boy inside.]
JAY: Do not shoot! Don't shoot! We're just, uh, trying to take our son out of this hostile environment.
UTAH SHERIFF: Their son?
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Accidentally speaking through the bullhorn when he speaks to the cop.] Maybe they're one of those gay couples.
JAY: Yeah, we're gay, and this is our adopted love child. We're not from around here. Don't make us go back to our liberal city home with tales of prejudice and bigotry from in the heart of Utah.
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Speaking only to the Utah sheriff] Oh, God, this is the last thing I need -- a bunch of uppity homosexuals shooting their mouths off to the liberal media that the Federal Wildlife Marshal office persecutes gays.
UTAH SHERIFF: Are you [expletive] crazy? Now, they may be gay, but that's not their son. That's the ape.
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): I think I would recognize an ape if I saw one, okay? And the only thing I do recognize right now is the politial fiasco here that I'm about to avoid by letting this [expletive] Brady Bunch go.
UTAH SHERIFF: Ahh! [Exasperated, the Utah sheriff turns his head and waves his hand in a gesture of dismissal.]
[Marshall Willenholly walks a few feet toward the diner.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Through bullhorn] You are free to leave, sirs.
[The Utah sheriff up, shocked at what Willenholly is doing. Jay and Silent Bob silently motion to themselves, with a look on their face meaning "Who, us?"]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Through bullhorn] Yes, you sirs.
JAY: So we can just go?
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Through bullhorn] Yes, sir. Please accept, uh, my apologies for detaining you and your unorthdox but constitutionally protected family unit.
UTAH SHERIFF: [Muttering to himself, shaking his head in dismay.] Un-[expletive]-believable!
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Through bullhorn] I might add that's one fine-looking boy you're raising there.
JAY: Hell, yeah. That's 'cause he's from my sperm. See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours who I [expletive] on the side so I'm not to be all the way gay, but my tubby husband here, he's 100% queer. He loves the [expletive].
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Through bullhorn] Well, he certainly looks insatiable. Bye-bye.
[Willenholly waves goodbye to Jay and Silent Bob, who step away from the door of the diner and begin walking toward their car. Willenholly walks back to the Utah sheriff and talks to him.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): Well, it's not my way, but I'll be damned if there doesn't go one happy family. [Speaking louder, addressing the other police officers surrounding him.] All right gang. Let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner and then, when the guys come out with the monkey-- [His facial expression changes, as he realizes what a stupid thing he just did.] [Expletive] beans! [Turning to the Utah sheriff] That was them, wasn't it?
[The Utah sheriff nods yes.]
[CUT TO: Many yards from the diner, Jay and Silent Bob are walking toward the car, which is parked to the side of the diner, which means they are walking further away from the police officers in the front of the diner. Bob is carrying the orangutan on his back, piggyback style.]
JAY: Sh--, I said you love the [expletive]. I gota be the craftiest [expletive] alive.
[Sound of a gunshot and a bullet whizzing past Jay and Silent Bob. Jay and Silent Bob's facial expressions show fear. They turn around and see the Utah police officers and Federal Marshal Willenholly chasing after them, guns drawn, shooting at them.]
JAY: Flee, fat a--, flee!
[Jay and Silent Bob run, each holding one of the orangutan's hands, carrying the animal behind them. They look around, and see a hole into a drainage system not far away. The police officers and Willenholly continue running toward them, shooting at them.]
JAY: Head for the sewer!
[Jay, Silent Bob, and the orangutan arrive to within a few feet away from the hole that goes into the drainage system.]
JAY: Stage dive!
[Dives headfirst through the drain, which is just large enough for a person to fit through.]
[CUT TO: Interior of large cement sewer or drainage system, with walls made of cinder blocks, shaped like the inside of a pipe. Jay slides through the pipe that leads from above ground into this sewer. He falls a few feet to the ground.]
[The orangutan slides through the pipe into the sewer. Jay catches the animal.]
[CUT TO: Exterior, just outside the hole that leads to the drainage system. Silent Bob takes a running leap and dives head first into the hole leading into the sewer. But, as an overweight person, he gets stuck. He tries wiggling, but can't get through the hole.]
JAY: You fat [expletive].
[Federal Marshal Willenholly and the Utah police officers arrive at the outside of the hole into the drainage system. They see Silent Bob's hind end and legs sticking out of the hole that goes into the drainage system.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): Fire a warning shot into his bulbous a--.
JAY: Suck it in! Think think, think thin!
[Silent Bob continues to try to wriggle through the hole. He sucks his cheeks in, thinking "thin."]
UTAH SHERIFF: [Pointing his gun at Silent Bob's posterior.] One rectal breach comin' up!
JAY: Suck it in!
SILENT BOB: Gaah! [Screams]
[The Utah sheriff fires his gun at Silent Bob's posterior. He misses, however, hitting only the stones and metal around the hole into the drainage system. Silent Bob, his arms pulled by Jay, finally squeezes through the hole, and falls roughly on the cement inside the large drainage pipe. Both Jay and Silent Bob lay prone for a moment. Bob sits up, and then helps Jay sit up.]
JAY: Just like Winnie the Pooh.
SILENT BOB: [Nods his head in agreement.]
[Jay and Silent Bob stand up]
[Willenholly, the Utah sheriff, and other police rush closer to the hole into the drainage system. Willenholly stares at it.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): Wow! That was just an incredibly daring escape! All right, here's the deal. You and your men stay up here. When I corner him, I'll call for backup. I'm counting on you, Sheriff. You've taught me so much.
[Willenholly embraces the Utah sheriff. Then he runs to the drain hole and slides through, feet first.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Sliding through drain] Ow. Ow. Ow.
UTAH SHERIFF: [Speaking to the other Utah police officers.] [Expletive] this a--hole. Let's go back to the station house and cornhole us a drunk.
OTHER POLICE OFFICER: Yeah.
ANOTHER POLICE OFFICER: Let's go.
[END OF SCENE. Timecode: 54 minutes, 59 seconds after start of film. The next scene takes place at the Glen Canyon Dam, which is technically in Arizona. So this section of the film that takes place in Utah ends here. The length of the preceding section is: 5 minutes, 17 seconds.]
[CUT TO: The end of the large drain pipe, which opens out onto the sheer surface of a massive hydroelectric dam. It is the Glenn Canyon Dam, which is at Lake Powell on the Utah-Arizona border. Jay and Silent Bob, with the orangutan between them, are standing on the precipice. The camera zooms back quickly, revealing the entire dam, with Lake Powell backed up behind it.]
JAY: The whole [expletive] world's against us, dude, I swear to God!
[Camer focus back on a closer view of the circular opening in the whole, with Jay and Silent Bob standing on the precipice. Willenholly walks up behind them, his gun drawn.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): Put the monkey down and your hands up! Let's go, misters! You wanna get shot?
[Jay and Silent Bob shake their heads "no."]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): I didn't think so.
JAY: Look, man, she doesn't wanna go back to the lab. And for the record, I ain't gay.
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): And for the record, while we're on the subject, I knew that wasn't a real little boy.
JAY: For one more record, he loves the [expletive].
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): On your knees, Texas Pete. Let's go!
[After a few more lines of dialogue, the orangutan grabs Jay and Silent Bob and hurls himself and them off the edge. Seeing this, Willenholly leaps off the ledge as well. As Willenholly falls hundreds of feet, he sees that the orangutan was hanging on to a pipe protruding from the dam just a foot below the precipice from which they all jumped. Jay and Silent Bob climb up a ladder on the dam to the top of the dam. While dusting their clothes off and not looking at the orangutan, the orangutan hitches a ride in a station wagon, and drives away. Jay is extremely angry and upset that his "ex-girlfriend's monkey" is gone, and he has no way of knowing where it went. Silent Bob points out to Jay that the sign on the back of the vehicle said "Critters of Hollywood," so they actually do know where to find the orangutan.]
[CUT TO: The police station of the Utah sheriff who previously encountered Jay and Silent Bob. This is apparently a police station near Lake Powell. Inside the station the Utah state flag is on a flag pole. Timecode: 58 minutes, 5 seconds after the start of the film.]
UTAH SHERIFF: And might I add, that is one fine-looking boy you are raising.
[The Utah sheriff was quoting Federal Marshal Willenholly, mocking him. Five southern Utah police officers standing around all laugh heartily.]
[The door to the police station opens. Willenholly, soaking wet, his clothes in disarray, walks in.]
UTAH SHERIFF: Well, if it isn't the wildlife expert.
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): [Sheepishly.] Heh.
UTAH SHERIFF: Your office faxed this over. Now, the guy said it was a post from an Internet chat board signed by a "Jay and Silent Bob."
[Willenholly gets the piece of paper from the Utah sheriff. He clears his throat and reads it.]
MARSHAL WILLENHOLLY (Will Ferrell): Ahem. "All you [expletive] are gonnay pay. You are the ones who are [expletive]. Gonna [expletive] your mothers while you watch and cry like little bitches. Once we get to Hollywood, we--" [Looks up.] They're going to Hollywood.
[END OF SCENE. Timecode: 58 minutes, 43 seconds after start of film. Length of this scene in the Southern Utah police station: 38 seconds.]
[CUT TO: Aerial shot of the famous "HOLLYWOOD" sign on the foothills above Hollywood, California. The rest of the movie takes place in Hollywood and Los Angeles.]
The total length of time this movie is set in Utah: 5 minutes, 55 seconds, which is 5.7% of the film's total running time of 104 minutes.